Jet lagged Godzilla

Monday I took a three hour nap. Sounds rather uneventful, but it was about 2 hours after I woke up so I'm wondering if it's some sort of retro jet lag. I probably would have slept all day if I didn't force myself to wake-up and do something with myself.

What I did mostly consisted of looking up directions to Nisshin Shiyakusho (city office) where I need to get a Gaikokujin Toroku Shoumeisho card so that I can open a bank account, get a cell phone, rent an aparto...etc.etc.etc. After drawing detailed directions from Google Maps, I notice the address shows the state as Aichi. Hmm, odd, Nisshin's in Saitama. Zooming out, I realize that I have just drawn a map of Nissin city hall in Nagoya (about 3 hours away). Well, damn that sucks. Searching around I find that Nisshin isn't large enough to be considered a city, much less anything and is actually part of Kita Ward which is a part of Saitama City, Saitama (kind of a new york new york thing). Finding directions to Kita Ward, I draw myself a new map. Thoroughly exhausted, I prepare for my second nap of the day. Until suddenly I hear shrill, rapid incomprehensible Japanese (like any of it's comprehensible at this point).

Realizing the voice is drawing nearer...and...oh it's coming in the house. What the heck? Peeking out of my little "office" I see 2 teenage girls with my housemate. Apparently she ran into former students who then followed her home.  Gah, I can only imagine the legal ramifications for that back home. She, being the ever gracious hostess, had purchased enough candy to feed an entire classroom of rabid teenagers. She asked me to join them....damn she knows my weakness, I don't know how to politely decline requests...what do I do, what do I do....Gah, no choice. Joining the girls at the table, the first thing I hear is OOOOKKKIIIIIIIII DESU NE. Hey, I know Okii, it means big. Hmmm, I'm leaving. Getting up to leave, the girls run up to me to measure themselves next to me. Way to make me feel welcome! For the next 20 minutes we talk about my height, my age, and my weight. It was awesome!! My housemate then asks if I would like to go with her to get her snow tires changed. Thinking this would be a good excuse to get out of the house (and away from the prepubescent girls), I agree. This really couldn't take that much time.

An hour later, I had been introduced to her mechanic's entire family (including grandchildren). First it was just the mechanic and his wife, TAKAI DESU YO (you're tall!). Staring, smiling foolishly and jabbing each other as they comment on my amazing height. As we were going to leave, I tried to hide in the passanger seat as the kids and grandchildren came home. But NOPE, no escape. My housemate says that I should meet the rest of the family. At which point everyone gets out of the car, stands in a line and takes turns saying, "TAKAI, TAKAI." The dad had this really silly grin on his face as he made a crack at comparing my height to...well I have no idea I didn't understand all of it. Yup, welcome to Japan. Seriously, I can't possibly be the tallest female they've ever seen. I'm going to start charging to comment on my height!

Apaman to the Rescue!

Ok, where to start. First things first, obaasan stalker.

Friday I did a demonstration for about 20 ol' folk. At 5pm, my obaasan stalker came to the place where I'm staying to give me 300 yen to pay for the entry into the pool. My housemate told me that I should use it to buy some snacks for the meeting afterwards. So I hurried to the grocery store and purchased fruit (I'm not yet hip on what old people like to snack on around here). Having my fruit bowl in hand, I hurried off to the pool.

When I arrived, most of them were already warming up. All of them were 50+ years old (one woman was 80) which made the speedos kind of creepy (one man's came up past his belly button). Old man with 6 pack led us in a strange set of stretches (lots of bouncing and twisting and bending backwards in unnatural ways). Then I got in and they had me swim 2 lengths of each stroke slowly, I tried pointing out the important things about each stroke, "but there's NOT ENOUGH TIME!" So I quickly swam slowly so that everyone could do "image training." Then I helped a bunch of people work on their butterfly and breaststroke. Nothing is more awkward than thrusting your hips back and forth in front of a bunch of old people who have no idea what you're saying. But I did it...and for some people it worked. For others...well they definitely got their butts out of the water. After this I was ushered upstairs to what seemed like a financial meeting. They provided me with a translator who proceeded to tell me how much money the group spends each week. Then they introduced "new" members, some had been with the group for a year. One of them introduced herself in English and then I got to sputter out an introduction in Japanese. A lot of the people spoke to me very quickly and then starred like I was supposed to understand them even though I said I didn't really understand Japanese. But a couple were really nice and tried talking to me in English. Overall it was actually kind of fun. I think I might try again this week.

Okay, onto the more pressing news. For the last week I have been talking with a girl who I will call "mini-me" as we very much alike, but she's shorter and Japanese. We want to room together.  She wants to practice her English and get her certificate to teach foreigners Japanese.  HEY! That's me! Today we finally got the chance to get together and go look for places. I pity anyone who doesn't speak Japanese, who is left to try and find a place on their own. Japanese people make finding an apartment extremely difficult. Maybe they think it's easier, but it seems to be a pain. So the process:

1) Find an Apamanshop (usually located near a train station, but not always). Note that not all Apamanshops will show you the same apartments (some will tell you that those apartments will not rent to people who want to share or to foreigners).

2) Find a sale associate willing to work with a foreigner (even though Mini-me is clearly Japanese, we kept getting passed off to someone who wanted to help).

3) Don't try and give them suggestions for what you want, because most likely that don't have any available to rent. Plan for 2 hours as this is the amount of time that it will take 3 of them to go to their giant filing cabinets and pull out legal size color print outs on various apartments that DO NOT fit your request.

4) At this point, they will show you a computer to put in your requests. A map will pop up with tons of locations, but NONE of them will be suitable for you or will rent to you (apparently they're all owned by obaasans and ojiisans that are just not hip to the times).

5) UnlucklyApamanshop worker will drive you to no more than 2 destinations, park illegally in the middle of the road and then ask you to wait while they prepare the apartment for you (doormat, slippers and flicking all the lights on).

6) You'll walk around, trying not to act disappointed, especially when said Apamanshop worker tells you that it will cost $4,500 to move into a 3k apartment that will cost $850 a month. Be polite and bite your tongue, because they still have to drive you back to the shop.

7) Once back at the shop, let them know that you will need to think about it and you will get back to them. Using phone, call another company and start the process again.

8) Pick a place, fill out a form and wait two days while they do a background/ credit check. In Japan you have to have someone else sign for you, in case you fail to pay your rent, then someone else will do it for you. Then you have to give them your bank information so that they can make sure that you can afford it (kind of like a credit check). Also, most places don't come with ANY appliances (AC/Stove/Fridge/Washer, etc), so you have to make sure to check or be prepared to purchase all of those items.

So in America, this really wouldn't work because apartments are usually in complexs. But in Japan you have Apartments (which are really more like what we'd call duplexs or triplexs). Apartments are usually only 2 stories tall and have maybe 4 rentable spaces. Then there are mansions which are 3+ stories tall (more like a complex). Both of them are comparable in price.

After 5 hours of searching, we finally found one we liked. It was odd because we went to 2 different Apamanshops and they showed us completely different properties that were available in the same square mile! The 2nd guy was not as efficient and considerate (he was actually kind of spacey), but he was nice enough to drive us to the same apartment twice and then drive us from the apartment to the station (so we could see how long it would take - less than a minute drive) and then drove us back to the apartment to look again. The apartment is called TreeTop apartments and it has a small "backyard" that faces two buildings...but there's grass...which is green...but will probably never grow anything. It's a 3DK so there are 3 rooms plus a very large kitchen. The closet space takes up an ENTIRE wall in both rooms (it's amazing - the closets are literally floor to ceiling wall to wall). The rooms are about 9 x 11 which is a good size in Japan. Then we have a corner lot so there are no neighbors next to the "tv" room. All for about $750/mth, which is really amazing. I'm totally excited, but will have to start searching for something to sleep on ect. The move-in fee was about $3,000, which is still almost ridiculous, but does include the first month of rent and the rest is refundable upon leaving the apartment in perfect condition.

So all in all, it has been a very productive couple of days. Hopefully, I'll be able to let you know how to find cheap appliances and furniture soon.

Obaaaaaaa-san and the Raging Mandanas

Really uneventful past couple of days...not to say I haven't been busy, but nothing worthy of writing about...until yesterday, when I realized I had an obaasan stalker. Okay, in all fairness she's probably just an old lady with lots of free time on her hand. She helps coach a synchro team so how crazy can she be....right? Hmm, let me back up. A couple of days ago I wrote about running around the park and looking at porn (at the same time no less :). After telling my housemate what I found, she let me know that I can go to the nearby pool and swim for 300 yen (around $3). Ah, that's what that green pond across the street is! So I've taken up swimming during the day for fitness.

There is so much I could say about the pool...it's about 25m, 6 lanes, indoors, no flags, and the lifeguards wear their clothes (no swimsuit). I guess this is okay since the pool only comes up to my waist. Yesterday, when I went swimming there was synchro practice going on in much of the pool (very interesting since a 5 year old could stand up in it). This put me in the far lane with 2 other boys who were, well I have no idea what they were doing, sitting on the bench? After finishing my warm-up I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to find the synchro coach standing over my head trying to talk to me in very rapid Japanese. After a string of interpretive dance moves (and some pencil and paper) I got the gist that she thought my stroke was kirei (beautiful) and she wanted to come and demonstrate for her "marlin swim club" Friday night. Not knowing how to say, "I'm sorry, I'm busy" I said, "hai (ok)." Two hours later, I was leaving the pool and who is waiting outside for me by the bike rack? Oh yeah, Obaasan. Good Timing. Next thing I know, Obaasan is following me back to where I am staying. She proceeds to write down the address on a piece of paper and asks me for my phone number (which thankfully I don't have yet). I try to explain to her that I don't have a phone and that I will come by Friday.  Dear God just leave me alone! She says a long string of sentences, all I understand is 3 - 4 today, I nod my head like an idiot because I don't know what's going on and then she leaves. Something tells me I just agreed to have lunch with her. 3 comes around and I start to worry 'cause I have no idea what I just agreed to...nothing...3:30...nothing...4....nothing. I'm safe!

About 4:30 I head over to my coworkers' house, where I have stashed my Rock Band/Wii (of all the people I've met he has the largest tv). The previous night we made a band called the Raging Mandanas (a sort of bandana). We're pretty amazing, if I do say so myself. We have a couple hundred thousand fans and have bought ourselves some pretty sweet tats with the proceeds from our gigs (but before you get any ideas...we don't do benefits). After a couple of sets, I'm supposed to go meet "Inu-chan" (a girl that I'm hoping to room with in Nisshin who loves her dog "inu") and Coco's (yeah seriously right, who eats at Cocos? No one in America, but apparently everyone in Japan and yes the food is the same nasty stuff they serve in America).

So it's 9pm (they move on a WAY different timeline here) and "Harry Potter" and I are waiting for "Inu-chan" and for the love of all that is holy who is suddenly staring down at me (right in my face)...OBAASAN! WHAT THE HECK!!!! Apparently she came by the house to apologize for not meeting me at 3pm (hmm, I didn't notice) and "Lisa" told her that I was meeting at Cocos. So voila! here she is and she takes the initiative to sit down and invite herself to have something to drink (and I thought Japanese people were supposed to be really shy and avoid foreigners). And almost right behind her comes "Inu-chan," looking justifiably confused as to the presence of our new guest. But Obaasan isn't shy and goes ahead and describes the ENTIRE situation, three times (which is good for me because she speaks at the speed of light). Apparently she was so afraid she would never see me again that she had to find me and make sure that I came on Friday (hmm, not exactly the way I would go about it). She then drops 2000 yen ($20) on the table and offers to buy dinner for everyone. Being too embarassed to look at anyone, I proceed to stare at the wall while "Harry Potter" and "Inu-chan" proceed to shake their heads violently and wave their hands in front of their faces saying "Daijoubu" (it's okay).

So now, I'll be spending my Friday night demonstrating for a bunch of otou-san and okaa-sans (moms and dads). Not exactly how I enjoy to spend my Friday night's...I really need to bone up on my Japanese.

Forgive me father for I have sinned

It was an act of desperation and peer pressure. It was late, my stomach was growling with an exceptional fierceness and I don't know my way around well enough to fend for myself yet. So when Harry Potter came over to talk to me about possibly sharing an apartment (with another girl, pervs) and asked if I wanted to grab something to eat on the way back to his house (where we were going to meet my possible Japanese roommate, gosh get your heads out of the gutter), I said, "Sure! where ever is fine." I thought I was just being nice by not being picky. And where does he take me? One of the only places I would NEVER eat in America, McDonalds. Forgive me father, for I know not what I have done. It has been 10 years since my last fall and I swear it will never happen again. I'll do 10 hail marys and 25 lateral throws (Casey'll get that one...maybe) to repent for my unholy actions.

But in all seriousness, I ordered a Chee-keen-fu-rey-Se-t-toe. Okay, so it really wasn't that bad. It actually tasted fresh and not reheated, so I can't complain. Now I can say I've tried it, but I'd seriously prefer to stick with Japanese food (it's much more flavorful, though still fattening).

On a lighter, but no less unenjoyable note: I have been running around like an exercise addict the last couple of days. Yesterday, I LITERALLY ran around the nearby park Suijou Koen. It's beautiful! There is a path around a very large lake that has a rock garden/koi pond at the North end. There are always dozens of old man fishing, though I have yet to see a single person catch anything. I did see a couple of young kids catch a pig , I'm assuming it was their pet (common sense, right?). The park is generally really clean (the path is debris free), but the areas around the garbage cans are always full of spilled over trash. During my jog I noticed a large stack of dvd's haphazardly strewn around a garbage can, almost as if someone just dumped out their backpack and ran. This theory would make sense, seeing as ALL of the dvd's were of the hmmm, ahhhhh, 18+ variety with very explicit covers showing EXACTLY what you could expect to see inside. It's funny that a culture that shuns public displays of affection has no problem disposing of its porn habit in a very public place. From the looks of a couple of the covers (give me a break, I jogged around 4 times and I just couldn't help but stare!), whoever dumped them has a lot of penance to be doing themselves...not all of that stuff was legal.

Uneventful two days

The last couple of days I haven't done too much. But before I explain that, I figure I should talk about people that I have met. For their protection I have decided to rename them so that they can maintain some sense of anonymity.

First is the person that hired me. Let's call him, Mick Jagger. Mick is British, like the real Mick and crazy like the real Mick :) Crazy in a good way of course...not the needs medication and a large amount of therapy crazy...though....Anyways, he enjoys video games, drinking, and young girls, the legal variety. He's damn good at his job and leaves me satisfied with my choice (not in the Mick Jagger kind of way, but the employer-employee kind of way).

Then there's the person who is allowing me stay in her house. I'll call her Lisa Simpson. She's extremely nice and diplomatic to everyone, but knows when to put her foot down when she needs to get people in line. She is smart, resourceful and sometimes seems to be the most grounded person in the room. She's motivated and knows what she wants.

Then there's an ALT from America. I'm going to call him Ren & Stimpy. Not to say he's dumb, because he's not. He's good at his job and very responsible, but there's just something about the words that come out of his mouth that send me on a flashback to my childhood years of watching that show. Perverse and mind-numbingly hyperactive.

Another ALT from America reminds me of Harry Potter. It's not so much how he acts, but more how he speaks and how he looks. That kind of geeky sophisticated. He seems to also be choosing the most precise words he can when speaking (very exact enunciation) and he's always there to save the day. Bought me my darts, some beer, and found me a possible roommate (like MAGIC!).

Finally is my employers girlfriend. She's the cutest thing I've ever seen and as sweet as can be. I want to call her Hello Kitty-chan, but that doesn't really fit her personality (just her adorable appearance). She should get a job wearing a kitty suit with her hand up in the Maneki Neko pose and cat ears. She'd get people to do anything she wanted. She kind of reminds me of Lily (Alyson Hannigan's...band camp girl...character from How I Met Your Mother). Sweet enough to be the kindergarten teacher, but loves pro wrestling. She'll do just about anything for you with a smile and, "sumimasen," but when you make her mad, she'll get you in a piledriver and beat you senseless. Never underestimate the 80 pound Japanese girl! On a separate note, if you google image Alyson Hannigan all the photos are of her in her underwear.

The last couple of days have been slow and somewhat uneventful (2 hour drive to an outlet mall and a traditional Japanese meal). I did happen to get money!!! So now I can buy toothpaste (thought it'd be a good thing to leave home and save space in my suitcase, everyone is regretting that decision).

KA-RA-O-KE story time

Two days ago I went to a Japanese graduation party (only no students were involved) at a local bar. There were about 16 people there (about 10 of them spoke English and were foreigners, non Japanese...YEAAAA, lucky me). Lacking funds, for reasons already explained, the others were nice enough to take care of me and buy a beer and rounds of darts (interesting combo). This seemed to be just the warm-up and about 3 hours later (around 11pm) we all walked over to ManekiNeko Karaoke.

You pay by the hour/person, so of course having 12 people we only paid for 9 (cheap bastards). You can pick the all you can drink soda package or the all you can drink alcohol package. Again, someone was nice enough to pick up my tab (not sure who). I'm sure at some point I'll have to find a way to pay everyone back.

The room was about 8x14 or so with two long couches lining the side walls, a VERY large table in the stretched the length of the couches and a big screen tv at the front. You use a hand-held device to select songs. The device is hooked to a sattelite system that downloads new songs. You can select songs by typing in the band name, song name, or by genre. Once you pick your song you send it to the TV. The tv keeps a running list and order of the songs. The goal is to pick songs that everyone will want to sing along to. If everyone can't sing along, they don't pay attention. You can bring in your own beer and food (or order). Of course being cheap bastards they brought in their own alcohol and food (about 15 cans of beer, a bottle of wine, and some smirnoff). I had an icy...but I think someone added something to it, because it tasted kind of potent.

For about 2 hours they did nothing but sing and jump around (literally jumping, dancing, shouting yelling). About an hour in a couple of them were so drunk they couldn't finish their sentences and kept falling over, so I started passing off the alcohol to another American who then hid it on his side of the couch (don't need anyone puking on us).

I think the point is to be the worst singer or maybe the most enthusiastic singer, because no one seemed to notice that most of them couldn't carry a tune to save their lives. This of course made it a lot easier for me to willing join in and sing a few songs of my own. I tried to pick songs that I knew someone would sing louder than me during and by golly it worked. I don't think that I ever was actually able to hear my voice at ANY point during ANY song (even if I was the only one with a microphone). Score a point for me!

So, if your ever in Japan. Make a point to go to Karaoke with the locals. Maybe you can approach random people and ask, "karaoke ni ikimashou" (let's go to karaoke). They'll either agree or just assume you're a crazy foreigner (which doesn't really matter 'cause the odds are you won't ever see them again).

WellsFargo can kiss my beepity beep beep beep

Today was eventful...to say the least. I didn't get lost on my way to Fukiage Station (about 20 minute bike ride), I only got on the wrong train once, and during my 3 hour excursion I accomplished ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...except for spending ALL of my money. Let me just give a shout out to my bank real quick, "WellsFargo...you suck!"

I called my bank this morning to find out about how to get money (everywhere I've gone says that I am DENIED because of my "card issuer" (aka my bank). I call my bank and they tell me that it's MY FAULT and I don't know my own pin number (which just so happens to be the same one I've had for 10 years now). Then they try to tell me that I'm trying to withdrawl $3000 (NOT even an option at a Japanese ATM) and that I should just go into a major bank and ask for a cash advance (a word that can't be translated into Japanese). So I spend ALL day trying to do this and 2 post offices, 2 kombinis (convenience stores) and 2 MAJOR banks later I piss poor and stranded in Japan. Luckily, the people I'm staying with are extremely generous and allowed me to use their phone to call WellsFargo (talk time on Japanese phones is ridiculously expensive). I talked to 4 different people and all I got was, "I'm sorry mam we can't help you. There's no way for me to prove your who you say you are." WELL NO DUH BATMAN, I'm talking to you on the phone and even if you could see me you wouldn't know me from ADAM.

"I'm sorry mam, policy states that I cannot tell you that information over the phone." "Well, can you E-MAIL it to me through your system.""No mam, I cannot give you that information.""Well, how the HELL (pardon my french) can I get this information?" "You can download it." "I already told you that the computer I'm using will not allow me to download the information. So you're telling me that even though I'm sitting here reading off my most recent charges and statement, know my security password and can answer just about question about my account, that this doesn't verify that I am who I say I am?""No mam.""Well what can I tell you that will get you to believe that I am who I am?""Nothing mam." SERIOUSLY! SERIOUSLY! So in the spirit of desperation I tell the lady I'm talking to, "So you're telling me, that you're going to leave me stranded in a foreign country with no money and no access to money ...so basically I'm starving and without shelter (I can only accept charity for so long before I need money to get my own place!)." "I'm sorry mam there's nothing we can do." Needless to say, I'll be switching banks soon. And as soon as I can get access to something to write with and mail with (all of which take MONEY), I will be writing a very nasty letter to SOMEONE who CAN do something. I realize there are millions of slimeballs out there, but isn't that why banks set-up security passwords? I can't believe there is NOTHING I can tell them that would verify my identity. If I were TRULY here with a company that wasn't full of such amazingly generous people, I probably would be homeless and straving by now (Japanese aren't exactly known for their giving spirit). What the heck is WRONG with these people?

I kick a$$ at soccer

Yesterday, I played my first game of soccer and I kicked butt. Seeing as I have an aversion to running, I have to admit I surprised myself...and well everyone else. I don't think they were expecting to have to run. I know this because one of them was drinking sake out of a juice container while standing on the field waiting for the ball. Another had his hands in his pocket. But, unfortunately for them, there weren't many rules and I hate to lose so I was all over that ball. The field was short, which was good, because there weren't any boundaries and the park was about 1/2 the size of a football field. The goals were made from laundry baskets and stakes. We played Paper-Rock to decide teams and switched every two goals. While I played aggressively, I managed NOT to hurt anyone (including myself - though while chasing after the ball, I did almost fall into a hole...which explains the rope that was tied around the hole blocking my entrance). We then threw a frisbee around a circle....I suck at throwing. After a while they got the hint that I suck at throwing and started changing the direction of their throw so I wouldn't throw to them next. Well, can't be good at everything! I ran hard enough the my quads are burning and my shoulders hurt from chucking (literally) the frisbee for an hour! I'll be svelte and an amazing soccer player by the time anyone sees me again. Between being sore and being frozen, I'm surprised I didn't steer my bike into oncoming traffic during my 10:30 ride home.

Oh, have I mentioned how cold it is? Last night my wall heater pumped out nothing but cold air :( I was FREEZING, finally I woke up and put my parka and long johns on (it's like an Alaskan winter in this house). I'm wearing long johns, jeans, two pairs of socks, a long sleeve shirt, a short sleeve shirt, a sweater, a wool hat, my hoodie and a parka....my fingers and toes are NUMB! I'm going to have to invest in some more warm weather clothes.


Today, I'm going to have to venture out to find an ATM that will take American Debit cards. I have not cash, but fortunately enough everyone is feeding me...or I'd starve. We'll see how lucky I get...should make for an interesting story later.

I'm not dead...yet (names have been changed for people's protection)

24 hours of travel later and I safely arrived at Lisa Simpson's house in Gyouda (Left 9:30 am Monday and arrive 8:30am Tuesday morning). I have to say I was seriously delirious by the time I got here. I tripped 3 times coming in the door, not including the number of times I dropped my suitcases in the train station (finally some nice Brazilian mother talked her son into lugging my suit cases onto the train...all the Japanese people were just staring at me). Somehow though I managed to carry a 50lb suitcase up the stairs without damaging ANYTHING.

I also survived my first night sleeping on a futon. Well, not techincally because I slept on top of the comforter ontop of the futon (the futon was as thick as my sleeping bag). Fortunately my pillow arrived safely, so I didn't have to use a traditional pillow (it's bean filled...not my idea of a good night's rest). Once I wrapped myself in the thickest blanket provided to me I was out cold...literally cold. But once the space heater got to my side of the room I was toasty.

Of all the amazing technological advances, the one that the Japanese haven't seemed to master yet is central heating and cooling. Not to mention the lack of insolation. It's like they nailed a bunch of ply-wood together and wall papered it and said, voila house (sorry japanese keyboard and I can't figure out how to use all of the functions). Outside of my room, the rest of the house is so cold I can barely stand to leave my room for more than 5 minutes (about the amount of time it takes before hypothermia sets in). You would think that by moving my fingers I would be able to keep the blood flowing, but it isn't working. Actually, I'm going to have to stop because my fingers feel like they're about the snap off (like breaking icicles).

Tonight I'm playing futbol (a.k.a soccer) with the other teachers. For those of you who know about my adversion to running, know that this statement in and of itself is humourous. For those of you who have played ultimate frisbee with me are probably feeling pity for the other teachers. I promise today I will try not to hurt myself or other people. I mean, I just met these people...I can't let them see how competitive I am quite yet. Off to get the blood pumping!! Go team USA ;-)

What would you do if you were leaving the country?

So, I was just thinking of how busy I have been trying to get things sorted out before I leave. And bam, suddenly I think...what am I doing? I'm about to leave the country for an indiscriminate about of time and I'm sitting in my garage organizing boxes and sorting books. I might not see Arizona again for 2 years...missing all the sites, sounds, foods, activities, people...But...what should I do? How would you spend your last couple of days in Arizona? What would you see? What would you do? If anyone is out there reading this, let me know. Also, send me pictures...while you live vicariously through me, wishing you were somewhere else...I'll live vicariously through you, wishing I was back home :)

May 31st 2007

Dam* Foreigners....Day 3
Current mood: amused

Well the title really sums up the theme of today's journey through Tokyo (this being day 3). I'd like to think of the first day as the honeymoon period. Everything couldn't have been more perfect, now we're into the real deal when everything goes to hell in a handbasket <-----borderline literal tense.

So here's a math problem for all the math nerds out there:

How many calories would a 150 (*cough* plus a few) pound person burn after 9 hours of walking/standing CONTINUOUSLY!!!! <---totally literal. We left around 8am to find an ATM that would accept our card so that we could take out additional cash. The little map said there was an ATM near the station so we tried to swing by before we boarded the train. We entered the center and proceeded to try every possible way to get the ATM to accept our card (how could it not, it actually had a button for INTERNATIONAL CARDS), and as we moved around from ATM to ATM (there were 5), a lady finally approached us and told us that our card wasn't accepted and I could just hear her inner thoughts as we walked away shamed, "Dam*, foreigners." <----theme of the day.. However, because she is Japanese she is obligated to be kind to us and let us know that the Post office had ATM's that would work. We headed over to the Post office about 1/4 mile up the road and sure enough IT WASN'T OPEN. I'd like to interject something here, but I'll add a section on Japanese stereotypes at the bottom. Strike One.

We had enough cash on us to make it to Ginza where we were going to try to catch a matinee of Kabuki theatre at Kabuki-za. Suprisingly we missed rush hour and easily made it to Ginza where we walked about a mile to a second ATM that we KNEW would be open to grab some cash. However, it appears that our bank has put a limit on how much money can be withdrawn each day. And though it had been a full day HERE, it had NOT been a full day....well at home. So we walked back to Kabukiza (about 1 1/2 miles down the road). And what to our SURPRISE!!! They were closed, but my ability to read kanji sucks something amazing so I didn't notice the sign that said: NO SHOWS TODAY. I did notice a guy near the box office who was able to read the sign to us and all I could do was imagine him calling us "stupid foreigners" as we walked away. Strike TWO.

With no other choice, we decided to do what we had planned for tomorrow morning and check-out Harajuku's Meiji shrine. This is another AMAZING shrine that has a very large and beautiful iris garden and a pond with what looked to be 2 feet long Koi fish. Jeanette, you and John would have had a field day there, it was UNBELIEVABLE. Gorgeous green trees, hundreds of feet tall, and beautiful haibiscus that smelled like heaven. This place was huge, easily 1 1/2 miles around the entire area. After walking around the area, we went on a hunt for their infamous 100 yen store (around 80 cents). This place was 4 floors of everything you could ever want for only 80 cents. Mind you, we had probably already climbed 9 or so flights of stairs before this and of course these are no ordinary stairs, in order to optimize space the Japanese make stairs so steep that you might as well be walking up the face of a mountain. <---figurative. So we wondered up and down 2-sets of stairs for all 4 floors and filled a basket full of stuff and headed to the register. The lady counted up our items and let us know that our total was around 1000 yen and we tried handing her a 10,000 yen bill to which she pointed at a sign (written in Kanji) that apparently said that they don't accept large bills. To our embarrassment we counted up our loose change to find that we could only buy 2 of the items in our basket. So an hour later we came out with a pair of cheaply decorate chop-sticks and a sign that said "UDON here" (a restaurant sign I'm going to hang outside my classroom). Again, I'm sure the register lady and the 5 people waiting behind us were all mumbling under their breaths "dam* foreigners".

The idea of additional wasted time really irked Casey. I tried to calm the storm by going to a clothing shop across the street to see if I could buy a top that would allow us to get change and go back to get the rest of the items...To my dismay, however, it appears that in Japan I'm a plus plus size. All of the shirts in the store were a medium...which was fine, except that my bulging biceps can't seem to squeeze into a medium. So I tried to find a pair of jeans (according to the tag they were a LARGE). I'm guessing they were a kid's large because I could only pull them up to the bottom of my ass. So much for that idea. Thus we left Harajuku with a map of a shrine and some cheap gifts. Strike three; however, this isn't a baseball game so instead of being sent to sit on the bench <---which would have been HEAVEN.... we were allowed to keep moving along with a little less dignity than when we started.

We checked our tourist map to see what else we could hit up before heading back and found The Museum of Emerging Sciences. This is a place where you can participate in hands-on activities and look at displays of new technology and fields in science. After spending 10 -15 minutes staring at the map, we thought we managed to find a train to Odaiba, so we hopped on and headed out. We got to Odaiba and headed for the JR window (a window that is manned and allows you to show your pass and go through without paying). Much to our dismay, but continuing with the day's theme, the man at the window told us that it wasn't a JR line and that I would have to pay 380 yen (I can fortunately count in Japanese if nothing else)...Dude, I'm not paying anyone 380 yen to get to a museum that only costs 500 yen to enter...so we turned around and went back to where we came from thinking we could head back on the JR line and head towards another station. Unfortunately, this didn't work out the way we had planned and instead of paying 380 yen, we ended up having to pay 390 yen to exit the station. BWA HAHA...it's a conspiracy, I swear!

Instead of the museum, we went to the next best thing: Akihabara, aka Electric City, where you can buy all of the latest electronic devices (many of which are even made for American use, WOW-WEE). Nonetheless, we were slightly overwhelmed by the electronic shops and instead proceeded to the Tokyo Animation center, which was slightly more than a large gift store full of animation related toys and gadgets (I decided to buy a few souvenirs that I thought some of the Japan club kids would like). Casey proceeded to take every free pamphlet that was available (and there were a TON!). From here we walked to the Academy for advanced knowledge and found a display containing a large, flat screen Panasonic television that displayed a 3-D image w/o the need for 3-d glasses. UnFREAKIN'beLIEVABLE! We finished wandering around Akihabara like idiots and went back to where we were staying and wandered around there like idiots buying gifts. In the process, we noticed a JTB sign where Casey and I continued to belittle ourselves as we tried acting out leaving our bag on a tour bus for the counter ladies to laugh at (Jeanette, don't ever say that I don't love you). Poor counter-lady...having to spend all of her time dealing with dam* foreigners like us. With zero dignity left and no feeling left in my feet, we headed home.

My learnings from today's trekking:

1. I always wondered how Japanese people managed to stay up so late at night and I think I have figured it out. I believe that it's because the average Japanese business does not open until 11am. This amazes me because even in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week every street is bustling with people. On top of that, many businesses (aside from food/bar services) close around 7pm. So weird....Fortunately for them, the Japanese people have also mastered the art of sleeping. Somehow in the 15 - 30 minutes subway ride, they manage to fall asleep sitting or standing up-right (many times laying face-first against the subway door----this seems to be safe...unlike say....in New York subways). Other skills the Japanese have mastered:
- Starring without starring - Japanese people don't make eye contact with ANYONE at ANYTIME. You could be standing right in front of them and somehow, without looking down, they manage to be looking right through you. It's almost impossible to tell where their gaze falls, it's like they're looking into another dimension or something.
- An unbelievably efficient subway system. In Tokyo, there are a number of major subway service providers. These providers may all share large stations and then also have their own smaller stations scattered throughout the cities. Each subway train has electronic monitors that show you where you are along that station line (which is great because I can't read kanji). Once you get off, there are large signs with color-coded subway-lines and arrows directing you either to the exit or the line of your choice. If you follow the signs it is extremely easy to find your way around. In all, there is a train that will take you within blocks of anywhere in Tokyo that you want to go...all without having to wait more than 3 minutes for a train. On top of that, even the people using the station are extremely organized and file along specific paths up stairs and escalators and out doors without shoving or beating the snot out of one another.
- Customer service....even if they don't speak English and it's obvious that you don't speak Japanese, they will do everything they can to help you (or apologize profusely when they can't). And tipping is a no-no, which makes it extremely easy to eat for under $5.
- Related to customer services - I would say that the Japanese have also mastered the ability to cook and serve food unbelievably fast. Maybe we haven't visited a "real" restaurant yet, but every sit-down place that we have visited has gotten our food out in under 5 minutes (even if the place is packed and there is only 2-3 people working in these small food shops).

2. Most of the subway staff consists of cleaning staff. We even saw woman cleaning off the moving walk-ways....AMAZING!

3. Japanese woman have mastered the art of running in heels...however, I noticed most japanese woman have not mastered the art of walking in heels. Most of the time they're bent kneed and pigeon toed when walking, but yet they still manage to run like a gazelle? No way...

4. Japanese people do NOT all look the same. It is amazing how different they look. Today we saw people with all sorts of ear piercings, face piercings, and clothing of ALL types. No matter what though, Japanese people definitely dress to kill. Both Casey and I couldn't believe how beautiful every female looked, even the "plus-sized" ones were dressed in the latest fashion (heels and all). While I can't say the same for ALL of the men, I would say that ugly men are definitely in the minority (same as woman). After looking at all these beautiful woman, I can't imagine why anyone would want anything else. They're smart, polite, they dress to kill, are as cute as a freakin' button, they have beautiful curves (not like skinny American girls without a figure) and they have boobs the size of cantaloupe <-----jealous much...I'd say so! And Jeanette, you'll die, but even though it looks like a kindergartner applied their make-up, it somehow makes them look even more beautiful (though on anyone else they'd probably look like a circus clown).

5. It's no wonder the Japanese have such a low illiteracy rate, almost every person on the train is reading a magazine or a novel, or text messaging...which might be considered a form of literacy....

May 30th 2007

Old Blog #2

You want me to do what? Day 2...
Current mood:monkey-like

So we`ve wrapped up the second day in Tokyo and here are some things that I have learned:

1. When changing your clock in a foreign country, make sure that you know what time it is there.....otherwise you might find yourself waking up at 5am instead of 6:30am (ultimately it was for the greater good, however, I doubt that our roommates would agree).

2. The Tokyo subway system is a lot easier to navigate when there aren`t any other people trying to use it. Unlike yesterday we did NOT get lost today :)

3. People in Tokyo must have subway times down to an art form. We arrived 5 minutes early for a train and no one was anywhere near the track. But, as soon as the train was approaching the track dozens of people came running up the stairs to board. It was amazing, almost like their internal clocks are somehow in-sync with the subway clocks. However, if people do have to wait, they do so in the most orderly fashion. Every track consists of very straight lines of people quietly waiting for the next train.

4. When on a train in Tokyo, you are sure to be given as much room as possible. Apparently foreigners give off a certain scent that drives Japanese people to the farthest corners of the train. No matter how packed it was, people managed to back away as far from us as possible.

5. Apparently Casey and I are quite the phenomenon. It is currently the time of year when apparently EVERY school in the area takes a trip. On our way through a JR station line, we managed to mingle in with a group of students. As soon as we stepped in line, the reaction aforementioned in #4 occcured and then I heard a little girl go, "SUGOI,ne" and I turned and she was starring up at us. This either means AMAZING or FRIEGHTENING....not sure which. Needless to say every little kid was looking our way as we journeyed through Tokyo today.

6. Most Japanese ATMs even if they have a VISA sign, don`t accept foreign cards, even if you have a police officer helping you insert the card correctly, because you can`t possibly believe that they wouldn`t accept your card...It was actually rather funny looking at the police officer`s face when I asked him to help me use the ATM...."You want me to do what?" I`M guessing this probably also relates to #4 (it`s got to be some sort of conspiracy, I swear).

7. Japanese tour guides are extremely knowledgeable. Not only could she tell us the entire history of the tokugawa shogunate, the current construction progress on various Tokyo streets and buildings (which buildings also had the coolest elevators), the original source of all the materials used to build various shrines in Nikko (pictures forth-coming), she could also give exact directions to various ATM`s in Tokyo (including the names of stores located next door - SUGOI, ne....<-----you can take that any way you want). But then again, I`m sure that`s just part of her job. 8. Don`t pet the wild monkies....because they`re monkies <----more words of wisdom from the tour guide....I REPEAT, D-O-N-`T P-E-T-T-O D-A M-U-N-K-E-E-S...... 9. The day someone tells you that it`s not going to rain, assume they`re just abusing your trust, because it sure did RAIN! <---on the issue of trust...people don`t lock up bikes here and frequently leave their purses while they use the restroom in a restaurant....now that`s trust! 10. No matter what time of day....TRAFFIC IS ALWAYS HEAVIER COMING INTO TOKYO THAN LEAVING.... 11. (SORRY THIS KEYBOARD IS NOT THE SAME AS HOME AND NOW THE CAPS WON`T TURN OFF) EVERYTHING YOU EAT IN JAPAN WILL EVENTUALLY GET STUCK IN YOUR TEETH. 12. WHEN ENTERING A SMALL CONVENIENCE STORE YOU`LL AUTOMATICALLY BE USHERED INTO A LINE, DURING YOUR TRIP THROUGH THE LINE YOU`LL BE EXPECTED TO PICK OUT EVERYTHING YOU NEED AS YOU ARE PUSHED TOWARDS THE REGISTER....AMAZINGLY EFFICIENT. AND JEANETTE, YOU`LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT I HAVE ALREADY PURCHASED YOUR AND JOHN`S GIFT, BUT....UMMM, I LEFT IT ON THE TOURIST BUS....HOPEFULLY WE`LL BE ABLE TO GET IT BACK, BECAUSE I`M SURE AS H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS NOT GOING TO BUY ANOTHER :)

Old blogs (May 2007)

So, for those of you who don't frequent my myspace page, I'm uploading old blogs from my first/second trip to Japan.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Day 1 of the long awaited trip Current mood: cheerful So, I'm finally here :) We left our house at 1am Monday Arizona time and we got to our hostel at 7pm Tokyo time!!! AHHHH!!! Because I'm tired and I can't think of a more creative way to transition into the next paragraph I'll do a very generic 24 parody (not that I've ever even seen the show...but I can get the gist from watching MADtv). The following happened between the hours of 1am and 2am: Me: You sure we're supposed to go this way? Casey: Yes, stay on this road until you get to the 303.... Me: The 303 is this way? I thought it was over there (points to the opposite direction). Casey: Trust me, just keep going Me: But the sign says Las Vegas that way (points to the other opposite side of the road) Casey: I've gone this way a lot, if you keep going straight you'll avoid all of the lights and it's quicker... Me: Hmm, okay 20 minutes later - Me: you sure we're going the right way? I think you can get the point.... The following occured between 2:30am and 3:00am: Internal monologue starts here: Hmm, wonder why there a solid line in the middle of the road.....and why is that car driving in my lane...coming towards me....hmm, that's a pretty bush...*bumbump bumbump*(you all know what that sound means) CASEY: HEY! you okay? Me: Yeah, I'm fine why? Casey: 'Cause you're not staying in your lane... Me: I'm not? Well, I was just trying to avoid that car that seemed to be coming towards me.... Casey: What car.... Me: okay, I'll pull over at the next driveway.... The following happened between the hours of 3:00am and 5:00am: *SNORE* Then we boarded a plane <----didn't feel that it needed it's own timeline The following happened between 9:00am and 10:00am Me: So were do you think our gate is? Casey: Well, right now we're at gate 74 and that sign says our plane leaves out of gate 76...but I don't see it, let's ask someone Casey asks a guy wearing an LAX uniform and carrying a map...The guy tells us to go outside and catch a bus that will take us to the international terminal. We wait abou 10 minutes, catch the bus and get off at the international terminal. Once there we find another man wearing an LAX uniform and asking him where United's international flights leave.....He says: go back to gate 6, it's about a 2 minute walk....You guys came out of 7, and you needed to go to 6. We proceed to walk 15 minutes back to gate 6 and entered through security only to find out that our plane was leaving from the terminal right NEXT to the one we landed at. Had we just turned around we would have saved ourselves an hour of driving around. The following happened between the hours of 12:32pm and 11:00pm (Arizona time): Me: I have to get up, my legs are falling asleep and I have to pee.... Dumb movie...more dumb movies, and one final dumb movies: We're now arriving at Narita International Airport please proceed through customs and collect your bags.... YEAH!!!! The following happened between the hours of 3pm and 4:30pm Walk through Narita airport only to be swamped by photographers and press people....While Casey and I were assuming that some famous celebraty had gotten off the nearby plane....it turns out it was just Japan's national Table tennis team...that had to have gotten the biggest welcome that I've ever seen..... Side comment - The Narita airport is much like a library....without books I'll save you the agony of reading any more hour logs...but I'll just say that I've never seen anything crazier than the Tokyo subway system. There are signs and signs and signs that go on for miles. And each stations is multi-leveled, BUT if you're not on the right level it's almost impossible to find a different train's boarding area. I probably spent 2 hours standing around waiting for Casey to find the next station before we ahead and lugged our luggage up 3 flights of stairs and through a countless mass of little salmon all running up stream...and seriously...they are ALWAYS running....It was CRAZY! Then on top of it, most of the signs were in Japanese making it difficult to tell where to get off...Thankfully, when we were standing and starring aimlessly at a Japanese Train Map, a man approached us and helped us find the right way...Oddly enough, unless we are looking lost, people don't so much as glance in your direction. Aside from that, we had some AWESOME ramen and saw a crazy man with long hair, wearing a woman's yukata and carrying a cat in his shirt........ And thus the fun begins :)

Exactly one week

So, I'm a little on edge. In 1 week I'll be on a plane heading 6,000 miles away from home. Seeing as I've never been farther than a 30 minute drive from my mom's, I'm a little nervous. It'll be interesting to see how I survive...or don't.

Right now my biggest concern is luggage. Originally I was hoping to ship most my stuff, but apparently you can't really "ship" packages anymore. It was going to cost somewhere around a 1,000 bucks to send 4 boxes of the basic necessities (though, having never really "left" home, I'm not sure what those are...so I packed everything). Most people would just go and buy their own stuff when they got there, but unfortunately...even if I wanted to, it'd be nearly impossible to buy most of my stuff there (I guess I could if I wanted to dress like a man). So after lots of phone calls, I decided the cheapest thing to do would be to take one of my boxes on the plane. Of course I realized what a stupid idea this was when I noticed that the box I didn't ship weighed 55 lbs. Gah, I think my common sense is getting flushed out by the chlorine puddles taking up residence in my ears. With only two hands to spare, this becomes quite the conundrum (unless I manage to sprout a few more appendages in the next couple of days).

So, I went and purchased the largest possible suitcase you can take on a plane (62 linear in). It's the largest, ugliest, purplest suitcase I've ever seen (but still cheaper than mailing my box). It'll definitely be hard to lose. 2 hours later and it weighs in at a whopping 75lbs. In order to redistribute the weight, I'm now up to 3 suitcases. Which leads me back to the original problem...where will I get enough arms to carry all of them? Maybe if I look pathetic enough people will take pity upon my foolish soul and help. I could leave the wii and rock band and consolidate to 2 suitcases, but Casey wants to keep the xbox360, so that leaves me with the wii or nothing. And the only game we have is rock band...I know, stupid. Now that I think about it, I can't imagine that I'll be able to play rock band or the wii, but I can't bring myself to leave it...maybe I can use it for English lessons :) That'd have to be the coolest way to learn a foreign language. Ahh, but I digress. So I guess now my biggest concern is how I'm going to carry 3 suitcases. I guess I have 6 days to try and rig some sort of contraption, I'm not sure my brain is up for it. I apologize now for all the people who are bound to be taken out by my purple suitcase next week.

~gomenasai~

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