Goodbye

I have lived in Japan for a whole five months and I'm now on my second move. I really love my current apartment. It's dirt cheap, conveniently located 6 minutes (I once sprinted it in 2 minutes) from the train station, and BIG (60 square meters, which is big by Japanese standards). Here is your first and sadly last look at my 1st Japanese apartment.  Goodbye my love, I will miss you:


Goodbye my furnitureless livingroom with view of a giant machine and small patch of wild growth of a "backyard:"



Goodbye my coveted 6-tatami mat room with wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling closet space:



Goodbye neighbors - I'll miss trying to block your view of me changing while still keeping the blinds open so I could see what I was doing every morning. I'll miss listening to you laugh hysterically at the tv until 12am or ease dropping in on your family conversations.  Oh and I can't forget, I'll miss listening to you in the shower.  Oh the fond memories we've shared:




Goodbye my DK (dine-in kitchen) that is so awkwardly shaped I never could figure out how to fit a table in you. But sadly, I won't miss your propane burners that would never light without practically catching my hair on fire.  I'll be much safer away from you:



Goodbye bathroom/laundry room, I'll miss listening to the old man next store have a coronary every time I got dressed in the morning:



Goodbye shower room...I won't miss scrubbing the daily accumulation of mold off your white tile walls, sorry :(





Goodbye entry way! I'll never forget how diligently you worked to keep out the stench of garbage bags awaiting garbage day! My nose is eternally grateful:



Goodbye toilet room.  You did your duty well of course except for the time you broke and left us toiletless for two days...




Goodbye :'(

What's different here? Part 1 - Grocery stores

Okay, so I thought that maybe I could write a short (not so short) blog about what's different in Japan versus America. Or at least the small part of America I called home, Arizona.


The first thing that sticks out is something I really took for granted back home, grocery shopping. I'll admit that it took me awhile to even find a grocery store since most places are tucked away in small alleys and side streets. The only grocery chains that I've seen along larger roads are Belc or Saty's. On the smaller scale, I've found a Roger's, Food Garden, and an independent store whose kanji I can't read :-|. You'll also find smaller mom and pop style stands selling mostly locally grown veggies.  There's actually a guy who farms a large variety of fruits and veggies on about 1/2 an acre of land in the middle of my city.


I'd compare Saty to Walmart (not exactly), but it's both a department store and grocery store and has some really low prices on most of their goods.  By goods, I don't include food, food isn't cheap anywhere. Some Satys are set-up like malls that'd you'd find back home. The one near my house isn't quite so grand.  What can I say, I live in a small town.  My Saty DOES have a movie theatre that is always playing foreign films.  It's owned by WB, so the selection isn't too bad. I've thought about going, but when you figure that a movie in Japan runs about $18, you quickly decide it's much better to take the risk and download it for free...orrrrr I guess you can wait until it comes out on video with horrible Japanese dubbing :-| I watched a dubbed version of Ugly Betty and SWORE someone had changed the tv to Telemundo because it sounded just like a Spanish soap.

Anyways, the other stores are predominately grocers. Belc is a large chain like Albertson's. They're the largest grocery store I've found around here and have the best variety at some of the cheapest prices. Roger's is like a smaller version of Saty and in some cases cheaper. I've found that the Food Garden has an okay selection, but the prices tend to run much higher than the other stores. Finally, the place whose name I don't know, they are by far and away the cheapest but also the smallest, with a very limited selection.  They're also open odd hours- open late, close early --it was two months before I realized they were actually open for business and not just another run down building.

So what makes grocery shopping such an adventure in Japan? Well, obviously the difference in selection plays a huge factor in my shopping adventures. Not knowing what most of the food is, is just part of the "fun".  I once bought something called "ika steak" for 100 yen (about 1 buck). Thought, WOW that's cheap fish! Well, it's also disgusting and not worth 100 yen (ika is squid). Then there was the stuff that looked like kimchi, but far from tasted like it. Or the rolls that looked like pretzels...but tasted like brown turds. I've definitely wasted much of my funds haphazardly exploring my way through the selection at my local grocer. This includes a far more embarrassing hobby I've developed which includes spending much of my funds  exploring Japanese sweets. Apple cider Kitkat anyone? Or how about my personal favorite sports drink flavor (Pocari Sweat).  Don't be fooled, it tastes more like the "pretzels" than a sports drink. Japan, of course, lives up to its reputation of taking things from other countries and "improving" them. Not only does Japan have it's ho hos (haven't found Twinkies yet, but I'm sure they have something damn close in shape and consistency) but they also have just about anything else you could imagine could be made from sugar. With a whole aisle dedicated to imported chocolates, another section for candies in the shape of cartoon characters, and even a section of nothing but varieties of gummies, there isn't anything you can't find in the candy aisle.

(my personal favorite is pure)


Of course, I can't leave out the huge section of the bakery dedicated to "bread" filled with, well anything they can fill it with. In fact, the non-filled breads take up a 2x4 section of shelf, the rest being filled, dipped, dyed, and stuffed with something.


　

（I don't even know what this is other than delicious)


　


（Another personal favorite - Curry Bread).  Now that I think about it, I could probably write a whole blog dedicated to Japanese breads, which is funny because I never used to really like sweets or bread much.  Maybe I should do some field research first, that way I can give a more educated evaluation of them. :) Hmm, I also better hit the pool more often.

Gah! Distractions!!! Another glimpse at just how grocery shopping in Japan is challenging (it's the ultimate test of self-control :-|).

In the last five months here, I've made some fantastic discoveries. In some cases, I've found foods that looked inedible, but turned out to be quite delicious and according to my roommate, good for my "feminine beauty", whatever that means. And foods that looked delicious, smelled delicious, and tasted like doo doo. Over all, I'd say that Japanese people are like garbage disposals eating just about anything that can be chewed. This is probably a good thing on the grander scale, but makes finding things to cook for dinner a rather dangerous and scary prospect. On the upside, Japan pretty much has all the same foods we have back home (lots of Kellogg brand logos on the shelves) but they tend to come in different shapes, sizes, and prices that I can't afford.

For example, most fruit in Japan is ridiculously expensive. $1/apple, grapefruit, $2 for 4 bananas, $10 - $18 for a watermelon.  From what I've seen, the most expensive are grapes or cherries at around $6 - $8 for one bunch (berries are about the same cost as back home). On the other hand, vegetables are dirt cheap (usually less than $1 for all bundles of veggies). Meat is also relatively inexpensive here.  Salmon runs about $1 a serving and chicken and beef are about the same price as back home.

What really sets these foods apart though is quality. Japanese people are extremely picky about what they do and don't sell. If it doesn't look perfect, they toss it. According to the locals, fruit is so expensive because they only sell the best looking and perfectly shaped fruit (seeing that most fruit is easily bruised, this leaves little to be sold). To be honest, this is the lamest thing I've heard and in today's world just seems extremely wasteful. There are some stores (like the small, but cheap store near my house) that sell only the misshapen fruit and veggies, leading to better savings because few people are willing to buy them.  While this mentality is rather crappy for fruit, it means that the meat selection is much leaner and fresher than what you'd find in America. The meat is pre-cut into thin, 1/2 centimeter slices and usually only the best cuts. While it looks great, I can't tell you how it tastes, because I haven't actually bought any yet.  The meat I've had dining out goes above and beyond what you'd find back home (I might actually like steak).

Cost-wise something is always on sale, but being Japan, they take it a step farther than just a sale. Since the perishables are switched out on a daily basis, every store will heavily discount foods after 7pm in an attempt to empty the shelves. Okay, maybe not heavily! But if you wander the stores you'll notice little red and yellow stickers with funny kanji on them (of course they all look funny when you don't know what they are). These stickers will show a number and then the kanji for...honestly, I don't know what the second kanji is either... But I do know that it means that you can take that percentage off of the price (usually 10 - 30%). Of course it's not a lot, but it adds up if you look around carefully enough. The hardest part is timing.  If you get there too early they're still putting the stickers out. If you get there too late everything's gone. Japan isn't as consumer friendly as America and it's not uncommon to find empty shelves or displays in Japanese grocery stores (or false adverts for items, but that's a whole other blog).

On top of these nightly discounts, there are weekly clearance items. Most stores have a set cycle for what's on sale throughout the week. Monday might be fruit, Tuesday veggies, Wednesday fish, etc. During these days you might find things up to 50% off their normal price. This is fantastic if you can keep track of what, when, and where for all the different stores (which I haven't made any attempt to do). I did once walk into a Belc on a Wednesday and find that 1/2 the veggies, fruit and fish were marked at 99 yen. CRAP YEAH! Jackpot! This of course led me to buying WAY more than I could carry on my tiny bike with no basket (which I will someday take a picture of). I ran into a few walls, pedestrians, almost a police man (he fortunately saw my oversized load and my inability to control it and jumped out of the way), and at one point I even rolled into oncoming traffic as I couldn't hold my hand breaks and bags at the same time.  All in my attempt to get my cheap eats home :) Oh the temptations of living in Japan.  Someday they might just get me killed, or land me in the hospital.  Which reminds me, I need to go pick out an insurance provider.

Bars/Clubs in Tokyo

Okay, I can't profess to be any sort of expert on this because I really don't spend much time, if any, at bars/clubs in Tokyo. I however find myself going more and more (as this seems to be the most popular social activity) and would like to write about what I've noticed so far.

First of all, Japan has an extraordinary night life.  Just about every city is overrun by bars or "clubs".  Most local areas have dozens of Izakaya (居酒屋) or local bars, similar to places back home. Izakaya serve bar food and beer and are usually filled with the usual suspects (old men, salarymen and maybe the local gaijin looking to practice their Japanese). I've never actually gone into an Izakaya. Not because I haven't tried, but because no one will let me.  Every time I ask my friends steer me away.  I'm starting to think that if I go in, I'm going to get molested by the locals or something. I've heard stories, and to be honest, it doesn't seem like anything spectacular unless I'm looking to pick-up crude Japanese. **Update: Some of these places are pretty cool, have great food, and interesting drink selections.  I still wouldn't spend more time there than I had to though.**

The other type of bar is often referred to as a "club", a hostess club.   Most of these places are located near the closest train station. They charge you a ridiculous cover charge ($50+/hour) to sit and drink with pretty Japanese women. Yes, that's all you do. Okay, some places have karaoke and maybe sometimes the girls will "dance," but if you've seen Japanese girls dance.  Well let's just say my 7 year old nephew could probably dance better and sexier than these girls. And no, I don't find my nephew sexy.  Upon entering, you sit while women dressed like they're on their way to prom (only with more clothes on) pour you drinks and talk to you like you're a 5 year old. Okay, to their credit, some big name places, that cater to a more professional clientele, require the hostesses to read various newspapers so that they can have more intelligent conversation.  But seriously, you're paying someone to talk to you. These women make money by getting you to buy more alcohol. I say, save yourself the money and watch this fascinating documentary on host clubs instead (the male equivalent of a hostess club):


Japan also has clubs/bars that are similar to ones you would find overseas. Which brings me to the real point of this blog: My Saturday night at "Tokyo's Premier Australian Bar". Hmm, something says, I doubt this, but okay.

Let me preface this by saying, I do NOT spend my weekends at bars. The only reason I ended up at this place was because a fellow English teacher had rented the bar for a couple of hours to host a party. The bar was located right off the main strip in Roppongi (actually on the 3rd floor of a building tucked away on a sidestreet). I actually couldn't find it, so Joe had to come get me and walk me there. It seems that most bars allow independent parties to rent them out before 10pm as a way to bring in more cash.  Apparently people in Roppongi don't start drinking until well after 10pm - actually, one of the bar tenders told me the place doesn't get going until 3am when it turns into a night club....3am? Seriously?

Even though he's a coworker, Joe still made me pay to get inside.  Once inside I found 10 people sitting at a large table talking in Japanese. I immediately turned around and went back outside and talked to Joe in English. Joe has mastered Japanese (passed the highest Japanese proficiency test) and is currently working on Chinese and thus surrounding himself with Chinese people. One of his Chinese language partners was standing around listening in, when he suddenly goes, "I know who you look like," in not so proper English.
"Me?" I say rather unamused since I've been told a thousand times that I look just like someone's ________(aunt, sister, best friend...you name it).
"Yeah, you look just like Fergie."
"Fergie? Like Black Eyed Peas Fergie?" Well dang, that's a new one. Maybe she's the only foreign brunette that he knows because no white person, ever in a million years, would confuse me for Fergie.
"Yeah, Fergie!" The rest of the night he kept calling me Fergie.  Is this flattering? I guess it could be, but strange nonetheless.

Almost right on cue a black guy (okay, it was rather at random) steps out of the elevator with another English teacher that we work with. Yeah people who speak ENGLISH! Feeling more comfortable, I went back inside and ordered a drink (entrance price included 2 drinks) and sat with everyone else. Not feeling confident in speaking Japanese, I turned to the black man assuming he must speak English (just about every foreigner in Japan speaks some form of English). We chatted and I learned that he was a cellphone network designer from Zimbabwe. His company and the Japanese government paid him (two salaries) to take a 4 month course in Tokyo (they also set him up in a posh hotel in the middle of the city). Crap, where do I find a job like that?  **Update: It seems those jobs abound in Tokyo**  After 20 minutes or so, a large group of Japanese men came in. The ratio was now 16 guys to 8 girls, a 2 for 1 deal!

Our table had grown in size, as everyone who came in had pulled up a chair. Feeling more nervous with the ever growing crowd, I went back to the bar for my second drink. I ordered a margarita.  Simple enough, right? Not in Japan. The bar tender (and I mean no offense to her, she was actually really cool), had to look up the ingredients for a margarita, then spent 10 minutes taking out the blender and putting it together.  I guess blended drinks aren't all that common here. What came out of it, didn't taste anything like a margarita. Well down the hatch!

Feeling much more relaxed, I started joking around with Dan (the other English teacher who is by far one of the quirkiest, socially awkward people I've ever met). Somehow we started talking about my arms and why I had so much muscle. This led to a discussion on yoga and then a group request to show a yoga pose. Feeling quite uninhibited, I quickly obliged by doing this pose while balancing on the arms of the lounge chair. I guess a foreign girl doing yoga in a bar is a Japanese mating call because immediately after I dropped back into my seat, two Japanese guys came over to let me know just how "sexy" that was. Um, thank you? For the next ten minutes I got an earful of how flexible and amazing it is that I can do that, how smart and well paid they are, and then a request to teach private swimming lessons.  WHAT!? gah, no! And I thought Japanese men were afraid of white girls.  Another Chinese guy, seeing me talk to other Asians, decided that this was his cue to strike up a conversation about swimming using his iTouch (it seems his spoken English isn't that great). This lead to another Japanese guy coming over to talk about "swimming," and my "other hobbies"...which I can only assume was a double entendre. Could the night get any stranger? Why, of course it could!

Maybe Dan felt neglected, but suddenly he started to flex his muscles.  Not in the figurative sense...he literally started flexing his arms. Joking that he was so tiny, he challenged me to an arm wrestling match. Joe's girlfriend, having served in the Canadian armed forces literally jumps up to clear the table. In her excitement, she breaks a glass over my legs. Fortunately for me, my legs were safe; which is amazing seeing how accident prone I am. Unfortunately, for Dan, so were my arms. 10 minutes later, I had wiped the floor with him. Having established myself as clearly the most dominant person in the bar I felt this might be a good time to make my exit. It was nearly 11pm and I had to catch the last train home. Saying my goodbyes, I hurried for the station. As I approached the station, I realized that despite having talked to a dozen or so people.  I hadn't learned a single person's name. My social skills are clearly lacking.